Our guest blogger today, Parrish Ritchie from LifeWithTheCrustCutOff.com, shares with us her thoughts about moms being judgmental towards other moms. Read on and share your thoughts with us in the comment box below.
Omg in the past 2 days I have seen so much mom on mom hate it is sickening. First was a debate on whether or not toddlers should be on harnesses at theme parks and such and one woman hatefully asked if you put your child on a leash do you also crate them at home. I was shocked that there are moms out there that could be so critical and so mean to other mothers. There were lots more negative and hateful comments to that harness post and it really bothered me and put this post into motion.
Today while eating lunch I stumbled upon another Facebook post where moms were putting down other moms, this time the post simply asked do you think a Kindle Fire or Leapad is better for a toddler, and oh my the backlash, “are you going to buy her a Mercedes for her 16th birthday and condo for her 18th since she is so spoiled”. Are you kidding me, these people don’t even know this woman personally as it was a blogger who asked the question. People were making comments about how you should play with your child more and provide educational toys instead of buying a 3-year-old a tablet, they don’t know how much this woman plays with her child or how many educational apps there are, or how many educational toys her kid already has.
Then I saw a woman complaining that her toddler rarely eats and the other day he only drank milk and had a few potato chips and she was looking for some advice, and oh I am sure you can imagine the flak she got for that….. how dare she give her child chips….. he should only be drinking water anyways. What is this, prison? She can give her kid milk if she wants to, or even juice which apparently is the devil according to some of these moms. Her child is toddler, he is going to eat chips, and it is not going to kill him and it was her decision not anyone else’s. After these moms jumped on her case she explained that they were on a road trip when he ate the chips, but you know what, she shouldn’t have had to explain herself, it is her child.
Again I was just floored, these mothers are so concerned about their kids but what kind of example are they showing their kids by displaying these negative and hurtful comments. Sure your kid doesn’t wear a leash and sure your kid doesn’t get spoiled by tablets, and sure no juice and chips would ever touch your little angel’s mouth but what kind of example are they seeing personality wise from you being so quick to judge and hurt someone with such hateful comments?
My son wears a leash every now and then, because he is a runner. Is he a bad undisciplined child? No. Am I a “lazy” mother? No. I never understood that, people say that moms who use leashes are lazy, how does that make a mother lazy? Am I lazy because I need to get my shopping done and cannot spend the next 2 hours chasing him through the aisles of Costco? What about theme parks and busy malls, in those situations I would want my toddler on a leash even if he wasn’t a runner, to me it is safer, I don’t want him picked up by a stranger, lost in the sea of people, it can happen in an instant and you know what it does, it happens all the time. You can judge me all you want, but I would much rather be safe and comfortable then not be just because some judgmental mom on the other side of a keyboard says I treat my kid like a dog.
These are the moms that piss me off, these are the moms I created my blog to get away from. I want moms to be able to post on my Facebook or my blog and not be worried that some other mom is going to trash them, I will not stand for that on my blog. Everyone is different, every mom is different, every child is different and therefore needs to be raised differently and it is not your place to tell another mom she treats her kid like a dog, or she is spoiling her daughter, or how dare she give her kid juice or a kids meal, or what a bad mom someone is because their kid watches TV….it’s not your kid, it’s not your place.
Being a mom is hard, motherhood does not go according to plan, the child you get may not mesh with the way you planned to raise him and it can be frustrating and all moms need support and help and to not be put down, looked down upon or judged for something as simple as ensuring their kids safety in a different way from your own, or because their kid had dino nuggets for dinner or because their kid ate all their veggies while your kid had a poptart, because they believe in vaccination, because they don’t believe in vaccinations, circumcisions, breast feeding, formula feeding, cloth diapers or the moms who buy whatever disposable diapers have the cutest character on them, it doesn’t matter, we are all moms doing the best we can for our own kid in our own way. I have no idea why these other woman think they have the right to give any negative feedback on something someone does for their kid just because it is different from their own way..
Is their own way bad? No.
Does it mean it is the way I would do it? No.
Is it right for my kid? No
So am I going to lash out at them for it? No.
Stop putting other moms down, if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. You have no right to make another mom feel bad for not doing it your way because your way isn’t always right either. So get off your high horse and join the rest of the moms down here where we are helpful and supportive not judgmental and rude.
No mom is an expert at being a mom, I sure as hell am not an expert and no one else is either so no one has any grounds to judge.
And as I write this my 3-year-old is playing Angry Birds while he drinks milk and eats Christmas tree shaped pretzels, so if you have something negative to say about that or this post bring it so I can weed out these trash talking moms who get some kind of sick rise out of hurting other moms, because I WILL make a safe place for all moms.
–
I just have to say how much I love this. I am one of those mother’s that absolutely does not know it all and needs some help from time to time. It would be very nice to get help without being judged or bashed. Thanks very much for being brave enough to put this out there.
AMEN!
When you put yourself out there, beware of what other will say. If you/those mothers are not able to handle it don’t post about your children. I don’t judge because it’s not my place. But remember that how Americans are judgmental unfortunately there is no way of changing it. If you can’t handle it don’t post
You are fantastic!
Thank you so much for this post!!! I say as long as your child is happy and healthy that is all that matters. My son watches tv and plays on the computer too. My son gets chips once in a while and he loves juice. I had him on a leash in the airport when he was one, while going from Florida to North Carolina. Wow, I just broke all the no no’s for a child. Guess I must be a horrible mother. I agree with you, anyone who has a problem with it bring it on!!
AMEN!!!
Two words . . . THANK YOU!
It’s not just americans who are judgemental. The lower the IQ the more opinionated seems to be the rule and all countries have their share of bottom feeding troglodytes. I don’t care what other people do as long as it doesn’t effect me or mine, unless I witnessed unmistakable abuse, in which case, of course I would report it.
I LOVE this! I have done all of those things and not felt guilty once
Thank you!
this is awesome! thanks so much.. I have hated going on “mom blogs” since I’ve been a mom because there is so much negativity… No mom is perfect but I’m sure we all do our best!
I posted about putting my daughter in a toddler backpack…..people went NUTS saying how terrible I was for it. They made the same comments about her being treated like a dog. I had to get angry back…….I want my child safe, and if putting her in a toddler backpack makes me a bad mother than so be it. She actually LOVES her backpack and wears it around the house at her own free will. We give her juice and milk and quite frankly it hasnt had one negative impact on her. The women who make hurtful or poor comment choices should take a chill pill and realize their parenting isn’t superior to mine or anyone elses!
Wow! As an experienced mom (three adult children and two grandchildren), my heart goes out to those mothers who are trying to muddle through. Ladies, you just do it one day at a time. Since you are human, there are days when you will make mistakes, days when you won’t react in a way that you know is ideal, and days when you just wish that someone else had the responsibility. I am proud of the adults my children have become, and I made all kinds of mistakes, but, on the whole, loving and supporting them was more important than being a “perfect mom.” (And, btw, I am amazed that “Faith” uses the opportunity to support tolerance by being intolerant. Many of the most intolerant people I know consider themselves to be very intelligent, and hold positions that demand intelligence. Clearly, “Faith” considers herself to be more intelligent than those she criticizes, yet has no problem in calling them “troglodytes.” Hmmm….)
Love this post! Also love Cindy’s post. Support and advice from other Moms that have been in their shoes is what the Moms are looking for. If you can’t provide that then maybe you don’t post. Let’s lift each other up instead of putting others down. I know that may be a novel idea anymore but if anyone should be able to do it, it is a Mom!
Very well said! I just can’t understand why some Moms find it pleasurable to put other Moms down. Can we all just accept the fact that all Moms have nothing but the best intentions for their children and that no two child is exactly the same (hence, the difference in parenting methods). Unsolicited advice is more often detrimental than helpful, so let’s be all careful on that.
Pingback: Let the Mother Without Fault Cast the First Stone
Thank you for this post!! I hope that as many of those “judgmental moms” see it as possible. Motherhood is hard enough without feeling attacked for the way you choose to raise your kids. As long as you and your kids are not hurting anyone else, and they are respectful as possible in public, how you do it should not matter in the least! It takes a village to raise a child, and all the support you can get. It is time we step up and live that!
I’m a mom of a 30-year-old daughter who has a three-year-old, a seven-year-old and a seven-year-old stepson. My message is this: no one can make you feel bad about yourself or second-guess yourself without your permission! Who cares what others say? YOU know your family, so do what you believe is best for them and the rest be hanged!
It took me too many years to learn not to care what others think; the adage, “haters gonna hate” rings true. Forget their judgmental diatribes & do what you think is best. You’ll be glad you did. Keep up the good job!