Our guest blogger today, Parrish Ritchie from LifeWithTheCrustCutOff.com, shares with us her thoughts about moms being judgmental towards other moms. Read on and share your thoughts with us in the comment box below.
Omg in the past 2 days I have seen so much mom on mom hate it is sickening. First was a debate on whether or not toddlers should be on harnesses at theme parks and such and one woman hatefully asked if you put your child on a leash do you also crate them at home. I was shocked that there are moms out there that could be so critical and so mean to other mothers. There were lots more negative and hateful comments to that harness post and it really bothered me and put this post into motion.
Today while eating lunch I stumbled upon another Facebook post where moms were putting down other moms, this time the post simply asked do you think a Kindle Fire or Leapad is better for a toddler, and oh my the backlash, “are you going to buy her a Mercedes for her 16th birthday and condo for her 18th since she is so spoiled”. Are you kidding me, these people don’t even know this woman personally as it was a blogger who asked the question. People were making comments about how you should play with your child more and provide educational toys instead of buying a 3-year-old a tablet, they don’t know how much this woman plays with her child or how many educational apps there are, or how many educational toys her kid already has.
Then I saw a woman complaining that her toddler rarely eats and the other day he only drank milk and had a few potato chips and she was looking for some advice, and oh I am sure you can imagine the flak she got for that….. how dare she give her child chips….. he should only be drinking water anyways. What is this, prison? She can give her kid milk if she wants to, or even juice which apparently is the devil according to some of these moms. Her child is toddler, he is going to eat chips, and it is not going to kill him and it was her decision not anyone else’s. After these moms jumped on her case she explained that they were on a road trip when he ate the chips, but you know what, she shouldn’t have had to explain herself, it is her child.
Again I was just floored, these mothers are so concerned about their kids but what kind of example are they showing their kids by displaying these negative and hurtful comments. Sure your kid doesn’t wear a leash and sure your kid doesn’t get spoiled by tablets, and sure no juice and chips would ever touch your little angel’s mouth but what kind of example are they seeing personality wise from you being so quick to judge and hurt someone with such hateful comments?
My son wears a leash every now and then, because he is a runner. Is he a bad undisciplined child? No. Am I a “lazy” mother? No. I never understood that, people say that moms who use leashes are lazy, how does that make a mother lazy? Am I lazy because I need to get my shopping done and cannot spend the next 2 hours chasing him through the aisles of Costco? What about theme parks and busy malls, in those situations I would want my toddler on a leash even if he wasn’t a runner, to me it is safer, I don’t want him picked up by a stranger, lost in the sea of people, it can happen in an instant and you know what it does, it happens all the time. You can judge me all you want, but I would much rather be safe and comfortable then not be just because some judgmental mom on the other side of a keyboard says I treat my kid like a dog.
These are the moms that piss me off, these are the moms I created my blog to get away from. I want moms to be able to post on my Facebook or my blog and not be worried that some other mom is going to trash them, I will not stand for that on my blog. Everyone is different, every mom is different, every child is different and therefore needs to be raised differently and it is not your place to tell another mom she treats her kid like a dog, or she is spoiling her daughter, or how dare she give her kid juice or a kids meal, or what a bad mom someone is because their kid watches TV….it’s not your kid, it’s not your place.
Being a mom is hard, motherhood does not go according to plan, the child you get may not mesh with the way you planned to raise him and it can be frustrating and all moms need support and help and to not be put down, looked down upon or judged for something as simple as ensuring their kids safety in a different way from your own, or because their kid had dino nuggets for dinner or because their kid ate all their veggies while your kid had a poptart, because they believe in vaccination, because they don’t believe in vaccinations, circumcisions, breast feeding, formula feeding, cloth diapers or the moms who buy whatever disposable diapers have the cutest character on them, it doesn’t matter, we are all moms doing the best we can for our own kid in our own way. I have no idea why these other woman think they have the right to give any negative feedback on something someone does for their kid just because it is different from their own way..
Is their own way bad? No.
Does it mean it is the way I would do it? No.
Is it right for my kid? No
So am I going to lash out at them for it? No.
Stop putting other moms down, if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. You have no right to make another mom feel bad for not doing it your way because your way isn’t always right either. So get off your high horse and join the rest of the moms down here where we are helpful and supportive not judgmental and rude.
No mom is an expert at being a mom, I sure as hell am not an expert and no one else is either so no one has any grounds to judge.
And as I write this my 3-year-old is playing Angry Birds while he drinks milk and eats Christmas tree shaped pretzels, so if you have something negative to say about that or this post bring it so I can weed out these trash talking moms who get some kind of sick rise out of hurting other moms, because I WILL make a safe place for all moms.